Christmas List

2011 Christmas List

. Automated sock retriever, washer and sorter... acme Sockmeister?

. Three of the most expensive and fabulous skateboards known to the Western World for around $1000 all up. (They're dreaming.)

. Signed paperwork for a large extension to the house including a studio/ panic room/ hideout. (I'm dreaming.)

. A Section of the Fire Swamp from the Princess Bride with the Pit of Despair and secret tree entrance to be used as the Best Boys' Base in the world. Excellent for sleepovers! (or panic room/ hideout)

. A beach cottage for Nanna and Grandad to live on the water and smell and hear and walk by the sea every day. Me borrowing it. (studio/ panic room)

. A permanent part time job as an art teacher in a nearby school with flexible hours and a huge media budget all for me.

. An extra six hours in each day to achieve a few other things besides colourful stacks of jolly folded laundry.

.Tickets and baby sitters for some of the shows I really wanted to see over the last ten years. We could go to them in situ via a jet with a bed for huge quantities of uninterrupted sleep.

. Huge quantities of uninterrupted sleep.

. A pill to cure snoring so I could get uninterrupted sleep.

. All next year's school fees paid in advance.

. A world at peace with well fed children in it who at least own shoes if not the most expensive and fabulous skateboards in the whole world. Yes! Really!

. A global virus that renders all play stations and x boxes nerdy and uncool.

. Happiness trumping unhappiness for all my loved ones and everybody else as long as we're fantasising here.

What's it matter? We'll be getting none of the above and having a great time with my huge, dysfunctioning family as always. I can't even remember what I got last year but I had a ball.

On that note here's the touching Christmas carol my 8 year old came home with this year.