Essence

                                                                     "My essence is at Ease."

I read those words over at I Saw You Dancing a few days ago and it resonated after an unusual morning. After the year just past I'm not sure how my essence is. I will never feel sure about it again as I felt so well and busy and alive when I got the diagnosis in March yet, it seems, my essence was very out of whack.

This morning I spent time at a place where I will be working next year. I had hoped to return to work slowly but this opportunity just fell softly into my lap. It is a little more than I had hoped for in hours but simply perfect in what I will be doing there. 

These things do just appear sometimes and are just so right that logic cannot be allowed to interfere. Each of the four people at the job, including two I had never met before, have a connection to me in some way through a friend, a family member or a work colleague in the past. This unfolded today as we spoke. It made me feel very comfortable there and more at peace with my decision to take the job on.

It did feel like the universe was reassuring me. My essence is still fragile but is a little more at ease after the last hours knowing that on returning to work I will be amongst like minded individuals and in a creative environment that I savour. Now I just have to get a bit stronger over the summer break. This is difficult when it is so ridiculously hot but I hope to just rest up and recover and feel more like myself, whoever that is now.

On the way home, I found watermelons being sold at 9 cents a kilogram again. That's 39 cents for a whole watermelon. I bought four more. Then we had cold Tim Tams. We don't normally buy Tim Tams but the rules of engagement have changed. Life is looking up. I just have to keep looking straight ahead and keep moving forward and not wobble on the tight rope. When you think about it all too much is sometimes when you fall. Just keep going, breathing, going easy on my essence and letting this new fresh current take me to the next place.

If You Build It She will Come

This morning I had high hopes of getting out there and looking for more work. Shorty had a more relaxed schedule planned. If you had x-ray vision you would see cogs turning.

We decided to build a cubby. There was a wall,
a charming gabled roof and decorative dangly bits.

The crocheted bunting turns up all over our place. The pattern for the little ones is from ingthings and the big star pattern was from the Royal Sisters. The stars used to hang in the back room but have faded over the last year so now they will be play bunting.

Non-verbal stuffed friends like Dora and Ted sufficed for a while....

but the faraway gaze indicated something was missing.
So we phoned a friend. There has been cubby- reading, cubby- eating, cubby- hiding- under- a- blanket- and- laughing- yourself- silly and cubby- two year old banter that I can't quite follow. It is a special dialect. I still haven't got a new job but this one feels pretty good today.