We can rebuild her!

I had two nutcrackers.

One had an unfortunate encounter with the dog.

We threw it out- thought it was best for everyone concerned.

Lala thought differently. She retrieved him from the bin. With straws, bandaids and some prosthetic limbs made of plasticine and plumbers' tape she attempted the impossible.

We CAN rebuild him!

Isn't modern reconstructive surgery amazing….?

Endings and Beginnings

2013 saw some final events for us that were big moments in small people's lives.

There was the last kindy concert- the real last one this time!

I may have shed a tear. 

There was the last day at kindy with friends that will go to different places. 

I loved that kindy for a good eleven years. This time I did not joke about having another baby so I could stay on. I have learnt that lesson.

It was the last swimming carnival in a small co-ed school for the long pale streak.

He finally cracked an age award. There may have been another tear.

We attended another graduation. Last time we went in 2011, our family was bubbling happily along. I'm so glad nobody graduated last year. This year it was all happy again and yet  more wetness in the eye-ish area. We did have to tolerate scoundrel Newman, the local pollie, flogging his dead horse for a while but the children's speeches made up for it. He should employ some of them for his speech writing.

There was the last strings concert in a little ensemble with a big instrument. I may need to bribe him to continue. 

Did I mention the youngest has voiced a desire to play the tiny triangle?  We are pleased. Yes there were tears again.

  There is a lot of newness ahead for our little mob next year and hopefully only happy tears again all the way through!

  Be happy tonight, be it noisy or peaceful and relish all the newness of the year ahead.

Happy New 'Ear, to the lot of you !!!

post Christmas post

Tis the season to be obsessively writing lists.

Here's one I prepared earlier.

December 15th

1. Get Santa photo. It may involving bribery with cold hard cash this year or just the promise of a $1 slushy from Hungry Yucks. My kids are cheap to bribe. Last year I only managed one with the youngest. It is the only year we have missed a group shot. They are not always perfect. One year Offspring 2 had vomit on his shirt from Offspring 5 and Offspring 4 had just had a tooth pulled. It is one of my favourites Santa photos. Now some of their voices have broken, I am not so sure of their co-operation.

Token Christmas photo 1

2. Get tree up. This finally happened yesterday between the marauding dog thinking she'd died and gone to heaven on a bauble chew-ability scale and several offspring needing to be dropped off/ picked up/ have things delivered/ have things bought for them. It is a simpler tree this year. I have misplaced a box of decorations. I don't care.

3. See family and friends on assigned dates to switch on relaxed, Christmas spirit for assigned time before re-entering the frenzy that is Christmas with a posse.

4. Stalk the local rotary Santa. Every year we track this sweaty hero down as he meanders around the streets of our suburb. 

5. Attend lots of medical appointments in readiness for the impending muffinectomy and reconstruction in the New Year. The presence of tinsel and tiny conical trees in the waiting rooms will no doubt make it much less nerve wracking except that they will constantly remind me that I need to attend to items 1, 2 and 3. If one more well meaning person tells me how "lucky" I am to have the muffinectomy, I may choke (them) with said tinsel.

Token Christmas photo 2

(Time passes…..)

December 29th

I never did finish that post. It was on my list. We did however get the Santa photo. Only because I booked them all at the dentist Christmas Eve morning so I had them captive in the car and drove them to the mall Santa throne. 

Two of them had haircuts while we lined up so they even looked tidy for a change. This year nobody had vomit on their shirt, a bung lip or a bald head. It was all good. 

 

They complained that it was a waste of skate boarding time. I countered with, "I am your mother and all I am asking for is an hour of your time to make my Christmas complete." Is that enough tinselly guilt for you? It was more like four hours if you include the dentist. 

They did receive a free toothbrush and some foam antlers. Shorty Divine and I wore them all the way home in the car singing along to loud carols from my Rosemary Cloony Christmas CD. They shrank in horror. I do believed they loved it. I did. It was like that scene from Wayne's World with Bohemian Rhapsody only seasonal. Embarrassment is good for the teen soul. (They did also get the $1 slushy each from Hungry Yuck's.)

The tree went up and the dog did not eat any of it although we found some mysterious sparkly tinsel poos in the front garden. Must have been the reindeer. It is a new tree this year. Sturdy and bushy and I didn't even get stupidly sentimental about the old one although it was bought for the first offsprings' first Christmas fourteen years ago.

We saw the entire family this year on the pre Christmas enormo-bash. The whole 25 grand-off-spring were there from the first high school graduated 18 year old to the four year old pre school tag alongs. There was much wagging of chins, some tears, some dancing, a lot of loud joyous laughter. It is good to have a Christmas like that.

Several other late nights and carrying sleeping children from the car to the beds have followed. Sometimes we have extra children here in the morning when we wake.

The stalking of Santa was accidental this year as we nearly ran into his road block rounding a corner. This was a healthy counter to the four year old at Kindy that told my four year old "Santa is dead." Who tells their wee-uns such things???

Christmas day was the usual chaos. They all came to church although the boys' hair looked like they'd woken up in an alley. I looked around to see many similarly bleary teen boys. It must be the Christmas vogue. We sang carols and visited the stable. I cried. I'm a sucker for a newborn. Everything touches my heart a little more profoundly these days. 

The Big Fella spent a lot of time on a beautiful lunch with Nanna M and we adjourned to Nanna J's for cake and drinks after as is our tradition.

I hope you all had love and laughter in your Yule tide parcels this year. 

For us it has been hectic, happy and fulsome- a fitting end to a triumphant year of recovery, rediscovery and creativity. More of the same, please!

How I know it's nearly holidays

Earlier this week:

1. Other people are talking about putting up trees. I have one. It's in a box. It's new and doesn't lean precariously to the right. Its under the house with the possums and the dust.

2. My old friend, Murphy, has come to visit. After waxing lyrical about our marvelous dishwasher last Tuesday, we came home to find it on repeat pump- the dishwasher version of a cracked record.

3. The clock stopped and not because I looked at it. Just stopped because all the appliances here are in a conspiracy and like to break down at the same time (which is permanently three o'clock). Please just be the battery.

4. Dinner is served. That would be sausages with potato bake and gravy. Dang- it is salt reduced so now I have to salt it. Two hungry diners just want them on buns. I don't care. Take it and eat it and begone.

5. If you want something green, there are new bananas or an old rubber coin purse. Your choice.

6. The beverage of the hour. It is a complete food so that will do me for dinner. I'll only be half way through before I hit the hay at about 8pm.

7. They are watching Home and Away. They are not allowed to watch Home and Away. This is not because it is bad for them but because I hate it with a venomous hate that can only be provoked by the direst of dire soaps. I just tell them it is bad for them like Coke. It is the final episode. The offspring have promised me the show will blow up tonight. They are so desperate for viewers they have taken to advertising this pap at the cinema invading my quality cinematic experience as well. Begone Home and Away!

8. I  keep painting cow skulls- big canvases of pretty coloured giant cow skulls. What does this say about me? It is time to stop. What will I do with them? Sell them to a butcher? Deep breath. Two more days and it is holidays. Then the Christmas thing begins….

9. They keep promising it will blow up. Blow up, blow up, blow up…..

10. I drove to one school four times today, the other school twice, the third once. I have been transporting offspring and other stuff that I've made as demos with students through the year. There have been a couple of clay busts. Whenever I put one in a box to travel it whispers, "Seven…." in my self chatting ear. This one IS a little bit Gwyneth.

11. The dog has taken to sucking the window glass making her look like a scary, zombie dog.

12. The best little mother in law in the Western suburbs is coming to change the sheets with me today. She takes them away to wash them and then stores them in her linen cupboard like a sheet squirrel. By keeping the sheets, she has to be present to change the sheets with me next time. I find this odd but am prepared to go with it. Yet there are still sheets missing in action. I may need to launch a covert linen retrieval.

Today:

The car and back stairs have joined the Murphy's Law of conspiracy.
Home and Away only blew up a little bit and will be back next season.
It was just the clock battery.

Hunger Games meets Oz

It occurred to me that there is a lot more in common between the Hunger Games and the Wizard of Oz than first meets the eye. So here is my top ten of why the Hunger Games is really a modern spin on the Wizard of Oz.

1. The Capitol is not unlike the Emerald City. It's big beautiful and overwhelming for our country girl heroines. Whether you follow the yellow brick road or take the Panam express, you'll end up right smack in the city centre.

2. Upon arriving it is evident that a bad taste fashion bomb has exploded in both city centres, although it is permanently St Patrick's Day in Oz.

3. Our intrepid heroes head out against all odds to overcome evil and bring down the trickster peers at the top, President Snow and Oz. On similar promo posters (cloudy), they are four abreast and marching bravely into the unknown.

4. District 12, where Katniss comes from, and Kansas are both grey, grey, grey where the hard working citizens eke out a frugal living in drab landscapes.

5. In Hollywood it is always about the frocks. Glinda and Katniss both sport perfect puffy frocks with spangles and tulle and wings- oh my! What's the point of a big skirt if you don't get a good twirl in?

6. Accessorise, accessorise, accessorise!  Whether it be ruby slippers, bow and arrows or a nice brooch, choose an accessory with secret powers if at all possible.

7. A girl can always rely upon a marvelous mentor, preferably one with big hair and bigger head gear. Keep in mind it is likely she will encourage you to undertake dangerous journeys while staying safely behind at home.

8. Los presidentes often tell lies it seems and Oz and Snow with their white benign locks are both set on sending their minions into dire peril to serve their own purposes. They also favor a pulpit like device for oratory purposes.

 9. Our girls are both airlifted out of the lost zones too- Dorothy in a hot air balloon and Katniss in a hover plane.

10. Of course when all is said and done, it is family that comes first and no matter where you have travelled there's no place like home. 

By the way, Lenny Kravitz is also in the Hunger Games in case you didn't know. He plays a hip and groovy fairy godmother/ stylist borrowing from another famous fairy tale. Note his magic wand. Does this man never age? Eat your heart out, Glinda!

(All sources from Google images.)