1. Other people are talking about putting up trees. I have one. It's in a box. It's new and doesn't lean precariously to the right. Its under the house with the possums and the dust.
2. My old friend, Murphy, has come to visit. After waxing lyrical about our marvelous dishwasher last Tuesday, we came home to find it on repeat pump- the dishwasher version of a cracked record.
3. The clock stopped and not because I looked at it. Just stopped because all the appliances here are in a conspiracy and like to break down at the same time (which is permanently three o'clock). Please just be the battery.
4. Dinner is served. That would be sausages with potato bake and gravy. Dang- it is salt reduced so now I have to salt it. Two hungry diners just want them on buns. I don't care. Take it and eat it and begone.
5. If you want something green, there are new bananas or an old rubber coin purse. Your choice.
6. The beverage of the hour. It is a complete food so that will do me for dinner. I'll only be half way through before I hit the hay at about 8pm.
7. They are watching Home and Away. They are not allowed to watch Home and Away. This is not because it is bad for them but because I hate it with a venomous hate that can only be provoked by the direst of dire soaps. I just tell them it is bad for them like Coke. It is the final episode. The offspring have promised me the show will blow up tonight. They are so desperate for viewers they have taken to advertising this pap at the cinema invading my quality cinematic experience as well. Begone Home and Away!
8. I keep painting cow skulls- big canvases of pretty coloured giant cow skulls. What does this say about me? It is time to stop. What will I do with them? Sell them to a butcher? Deep breath. Two more days and it is holidays. Then the Christmas thing begins….
9. They keep promising it will blow up. Blow up, blow up, blow up…..
10. I drove to one school four times today, the other school twice, the third once. I have been transporting offspring and other stuff that I've made as demos with students through the year. There have been a couple of clay busts. Whenever I put one in a box to travel it whispers, "Seven…." in my self chatting ear. This one IS a little bit Gwyneth.
11. The dog has taken to sucking the window glass making her look like a scary, zombie dog.
12. The best little mother in law in the Western suburbs is coming to change the sheets with me today. She takes them away to wash them and then stores them in her linen cupboard like a sheet squirrel. By keeping the sheets, she has to be present to change the sheets with me next time. I find this odd but am prepared to go with it. Yet there are still sheets missing in action. I may need to launch a covert linen retrieval.
The car and back stairs have joined the Murphy's Law of conspiracy.
Home and Away only blew up a little bit and will be back next season.
It was just the clock battery.