Why is it whenever I get the youngest off for a few days and get freed up to work, something crops up? A pregnancy (bump), a cancer (lump), a bad hair cut (frump)...
What does one wear to meet your new doctor/ new best friend/ person who might cut off your breast? Is there an etiquette here? Frankly I'll be lucky to remember to wear shoes.
Damn! I'm getting a pimple!
I must finish Paula's painting.
Can you take paint into a hospital?
If you paraphrase the poem 'New Shoes' by Frida Wolfe, you can write an inspirational breast poem.
'New boobs, new boobs.
Small or big or round boobs.
Tell me which would you choose?
Like some? So would I!'
Lucky it's my left breast so I can keep using my right arm to make and do.
Why do husbands go into themselves and wives go outside themselves?
Has anyone fed the chooks lately?
I need to buy pies for the boarders' afternoon tea.
Who will I give my new bras to? Can I just stick a rolled up sock in one cup?
I have big breasts. If one is gone will I veer to the right like a wonky shopping trolly. ( They'll just think I've been tippling at pick up time.)
Why does Oreo icing stick to one biscuit only? Can Oreo's give you cancer? I have never eaten an Oreo.
By the age of thirty seven I realised I'd driven through Paris in a sportscar with the warm wind in my hair. (Okay it was a camper van but it was cool!)
For the first time since Paris in a camper the big fella is getting ringlets back in his hair. I like his hair longer. I like hair. Will mine grow back curly?
The original Hi 5 were better although Kelly couldn't sing for peanuts.
I don't want to go to the shops in case somebody hugs me and I start to cry again.
My head is no longer cold.
How much emergency bush remedy is too much?
If I am bald I might get my eyebrows shaped like my sister does. I have always wanted to try that.
Should I repaint my toenails for the doctor so she doesn't think me scruffy?
It's hard to put nail polish on when your hands are shaking.
What time am I on the election stall at school tomorrow?
When the doctor asks, 'Are you allergic to anything?' I want to answer, 'Just cancer.'
The breast clinic just rang. I forgot to cancel my routine annual breast screen and they were chasing me up for the mammogram I should be at now. She said I could come back to them if I get the all clear in FIVE YEARS. WHAT?! This is going to go on for 5 years. Anyway I only have to go back if I have breasts. So there's an up side to mastectomy- no more mammograms. Not that there's anything wrong with mammograms.
I appear to be rambling.