Thursday, November 24, 2011

Home School Day 101

It was raining yesterday and this one was knackered. They'd had yet another late night school concert and B2 doesn't cope with sleep loss. Poor pet. However, once he emerged from bed there were still some pretty good life lessons to be had over the course of the 'sick' day.Lessson 1: ROAD SAFETY
Do not ever bask on a warm road at night. This poor fellow learnt the hard way! For the overseas folk, I think it's a carpet snake, fondly tolerated by many Brisbanians for the job they do keeping vermin down. Even they won't eat bush turkeys though.
Lesson 2: PHILOSOPHY
When one door closes...
another one opens. This giant soft toy was bequeathed on us a couple of Christmases ago as a hand me down. It has spent much a of last year languishing under the house. I brought him up to take him to the oppy but was met with short resistance. So I resorted to trickery. Having restrained Shorty in her car throne, I stashed Tigger in the back unbeknownst to her. We got lots of beeping horns and waves on the way to Ron and Brian's.
After she had scored some Teletubby op shop booty as a distraction I reattached her to her seat and unloaded the noble flea bag behind her back. It was a bit like leaving your dog at the pound and, yes, there was some guilt as I sped away. He will make an only child with more floor room very happy.

Lesson3: ECONOMICS
The op shop karma bank has clearly not recognised this deposit as yet. There was only a nice 1982 Australian tea towel, an embroidery ring and a pretty pillowcase which is not vintage so I should be able to cut into it.
Lesson 3: PERSONAL HYGIENE
Asphyxiated by the old food fumes embedded in the Stinky Winky, the Divine Ms M was rendered incapable of noticing the loss of Tigger. She was pretty darn chuffed with Stinky and (I shamefully confess, a Barney DVD).
There was also a dear deer and then when we crossed over into a parallel retail universe we found this cute patchwork one at Typo. I like Typo.
I like Mor Marshmallow soap too. Restricted in my cosmetic range by impatience with painted ladies at counters and limited birthday vouchers, I rarely buy myself yummy things like this. In fact this range of stuff is discontinued. I mourned it's demise over a year ago then it reappeared near Typo in a liquidation store significantly cheaper than it was before. I can shower in this stuff and be transported from every domestic ghoul there is. It is feel-good escapism marred only by one negative experience. I once picked a box of it up off Lairy Godmother's kitchen bench to inhale. As I waxed lyrical about its contents and opened the lid up to my face I inhaled, to my horror, the scent of their dear, departed, pet Mousey. Pretty packaging had become a pet coffin! It has to be good stuff to overcome that memory!
Lesson 4: RESILIENCE
How we all love the old 'resilience' chestnut, the most popular jargon words in primary schools today. Bereft at the Stinky Winky's departure into the vortex of clean....
Shorty was happy to bathe in the same room ...
if not the same receptacle.
Having learnt all these lessons, B2 returned refreshed and enlightened to play in the swimming carnival today. Can you spot him?

11 comments:

  1. I'm glad schooling continues on a sick day. Is that Marge gesturing to Shorty in the bath?
    Now you know a storm day here is the one most desired by school aged tots and teachers alike. Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

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  2. Sorry, but I have been distracted from your offspring by the soap! The snag with reading the blogs of furriners is that they write about lovely sounding stuff you can't buy in the UK damn them ;D

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  3. Is that arm cast waterproof?
    Not in my day.
    The tiger would cause a storm at the cross roads .
    I do hope he goes to a good family.

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  4. Your MOR box story had me in stitches. As did your asphixiated child (in a nice way). And did he win the race? (It looks like it!)

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  5. Deb: Your storm days sound much prettier and less destructive than ours.

    Annie: I have stockpiled a few which is quite selfish coming up to Christmas. The best I can do is tell you it smells a bit like a powdered post bath baby's head!

    DMC: The cast was, thankfully waterproof . Everything the poor kid is doing for year 7 graduation seems to be associated with water!

    Anna: He did win! That is his brother coming second. They all let him win for fear of being thumped in the noggin by the cast!

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  6. Aiiiieee! I was distracted by the carpet snake. Lucky we don't have them around here (shudder). Perhaps it's my answer to the possum issue, though.

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  7. CC: It seems they do eat possums! A friend of mine watched a carpet snake consume a whole possum outside her window over the course of an hour!

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  8. Annie, it sounds as though your watchful friend hasn't got Foxtel.
    A whole hour witnessing feral hunger appeased?
    Although the mid-day movie can be equally gruesome, I suppose.

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  9. Thanks so much for the versatile award, I so love another blogger who has a randomly haphazard approach to posts. Yours however are much funnier, cannot believe you were snorting dead mouse. That tiger is a hoot, i have never seen such a real stuffed toy. I am in the process of culling soft toys too, sneaking them down to childcare and then using a fake voice to exclaim how similar they are to the one Liongirl has at home that we just can't seem to find. melx

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  10. DMC: It was late at night outside her bedroom and the ruckus woke her. She videoed it for her students and husband!

    BG: Your welcome. As Annie said, do with it as you will. Ironically since getting rid of Tigger we have inherited a Dora, Stinky Winky and now it looks like Dipsy is moving in too. Two steps forward, one step back.

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  11. BG: Random?? Haphazard??? Surely the epitome of order and planning is what you meant!

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