Monday, October 8, 2012

order and chaos

They all went back to school yesterday so the free range kids are back on the leash. Order should be restored to the chaos but the universe has not got the memo. 
I am drawn to patterns and repetition in nature and the world around me but my life does not mirror this preference at all. It's only a visual fondness for order and not applicable to real life like laundry and sheet changing or paying a fine on time.
The car park where I seem to spend a lot of time lately.

Lately, the daily routine has been framed around a series of repetitive motions. 

Touchstone from the beloved Lairy Godmother.

Every three weeks I went to chemo. Every first week I was sick. Every second week I was tired. Every third week was packed with appointments and doing things I couldn't do in the good weeks.
Round and round and round....

The car park stairwell- a little routine I built into the therapy. 

It got rather tiresome but was joyfully replaced by the repetition of daily radiation. During the holidays I just walked out the door with the Big Fella home for back up but with the morning drop offs and organisational challenges this week I have to go at a different speed. Faster and faster till yesterday I was in quite the tizz by (late) dinner time.

The childerbeasts started some after school activities which required a lot of dropping off and picking up and liasing with other parents and teachers.

Up and down... over and over...

Really it seems life has become a lot of straight lines filled in with a jumble of chaos, and it takes a bit of both to keep us sane or, at least, inching forward to the next milestone.

How my brain feels by 7.00 pm- rubbery,  jumbled and a bit mouldy!


  1. Hi Annie,
    I have been catching up on your posts. I really liked your last post. It's such a difficult things, isn't it? I think people generally really care and can empathise but maybe they just get nervous and get a case of foot in mouth? I think you might as well face that big elephant in the room. I have a friend who has been fighting cancer and she has just hhidden herself away. I have written to her telling her I'd love to catch up, given her every one of my conatct details in case she had lost them, but I've heard not a peep. It's furstrating as I'd like to be there for her.
    Anway, while I remember can I say that I think your $2 painting is the buy of the year! It's fantastic - so fun and quirky!
    Take care x

  2. I love the pics you've used in this post Annie, those flippers and back strokers. And that shot of your well trod staircase (it made me feel slightly sick actually)
    Just be sure to hit the release valve every now and then (if you can)
    I think I sent you an email (to gmail) did you get it?

  3. My pressure valve exploded on the weekend, end of shopping bags kind of just flew across the kitchen ....oops......and sat there strewn all over the floor until someone else picked it all up...I know, childish...but when the popper pops, it pops big time...
    I admire your strength, cos youve got it girl...keeping up with the chidlets and doing the mum thing...all while inside your head your are probably wanting to pop that popper....
    Im off to cook a 'late' dinner right now............and who cares, as long as they are fed by midnight....all is well... :)

  4. Ok so I set my self a blogfest challenge, to not only read every blog but REPLY. I know lets see how long I can keep it up. Anyway I have to agree with Kylie those stairs are nauseating. Stairs and I do not get along at present as I have fallen down two sets of staircases this year.
    I should keep a photo of that pressure valve on my fridge, now theres some good fridge art!
    Oh and I have emailed my friend to remind me of that joke and not just the punch line.
    Anyway back to my little pocket of CHAOS!

  5. I was just admiring an old staircase today in downtown Apia. It was nothing super special but brought back memories of my childhood, following my mother up old wooden staircases, the smells, etc. Like the ones in the Royal Children's Hospital and MacDonald and East, living here is like stepping back in time, big time. Not that really relates to what you are reflecting on, but I guess I am feeling a bit nostalgic about leaving here and getting back into the rat race of home. I can't help but look at the photo of the children all swimming and thinking how machine-like they all look and I want to shriek; "No I don't want to join that and have my free range chillun have to become part of the big machine too!"
    Enough of my angst.
    You are doing well and the treatment will finish and we will sit and eat curry and drink red wine, maybe we will paint the scene and capture it as a still life? Remember doing that? We could mimick each others style, though I know I don't have your talent to do justice to what you capture. Love you baby

  6. I love what you notice. I've been trying to do a photo a day (because a blog a day would be impossible at the mo) but I don't notice like you do. Now I'm off to sew a dirndl in my chaotic sewing space. I love you too.

    1. The only other person I have ever known to sew (or say the word) dirndl was maybe Anne off Green Gables. Everything seems to be in high definition right now, even fire escape valves! My viewer focus is more honed!

  7. Annie you are on a roll with these Posts which is just great because I enjoy them so much :-) I've never been able to get buttons on my blog either with those silly codes they have. Have you just tried dragging said button onto the desktop and then copying and pasting onto your blog - usually works for me. Your photos are fabulous too. I like the Kookaburra and the pressure valve. Mine pops regularly and I don't have the added stress of the 'elephant in the room' going on. You're doing an amazing job! Mel x

    1. That sounds clever and simple! Blogger is such a pain on the I pad.

  8. Annie, I cannot express my admiration for you.
    Whatever it takes, you've got it.
    Perseverance is the weave and warp of sainthood.

  9. Annie, I don't know that I could cope with all you are going through without the valve popping several times a day. Your perspective on things is right on. Wishing you calmness in the middle of chaos.


  10. As always great photographs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Regula

  11. Catching up with you ... had to comment on that last pic ... what a perfect metaphor for a fried mind ... that's exactly how I felt in the middle of my last RA flare up, rubbery, and mouldy at the edges! Not so brightly coloured though, more stairwell grey!


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