Monday, October 31, 2011


Be patient, oh reader, for my scary tale is a long one beginning quite normally over rice bubbles and eggs this very morn. My 'sick' brother and I went to purchase shoes from the village square.
I tarried amongst the boots.....
where I became entranced by these eerily pretty satin dancing slippers.
Indeed it seems they were bewitched for upon wearing them I was overtaken by a deep and unsettled slumber.
Strange dreams overtook me where my brother wandered in a glassy world amongst giant floating Zoolander heads.
In my dream we meandered home along a winding road under a grey ominous sky filled with clouds of purple blossom.
Then I found myself in a blingy room watching my sister's Rapunzel hair grow shorter....
and shorter as she coaxed the scissor-wielding, tattooed Amazon to cut it, "More like Matilda's!" Soon she was transformed ......
I was swiftly recruited into her spooky, kooky kids' cult whereupon...
we were whisked off to the castle of terrible twelve year old boys who did foam and froth at us.
There were pumpkins ....
and candles and cheerios and much atmosphere.
Next we were taken to the mansion of Scandy Andy of which my dear Mama often dreams. There we were plied with Gingerdead men and mandarines....
whilst mother was mesmerised by his latest West German oppy urn ......
and this hypnotically lovely orb of orange crushed glass. His powerful potion of gin and grapefruit juice sent her spiralling into a deeper trance from which she cackled in delight as she stroked his vases.
Then, most bizarre of all, dear ones, I was walked to the door of a stranger's house to knock and beg and thereupon be bestowed with Chuppa Cups! Seriously! They just gave them to me! Even the nanna's have not reached such pinnacles of sugariness!
I tried it again,
This time I received a latex glove filled with popcorn.... strange times for a two year old.

The street began to fill with a colourful murder of fellow shorties driven by the fiendish desire to fill pillow cases and sequinned handbags with sugary booty.We went to pick up the final brother in the triptych of horror to find his own dream of having a puppy to be finally fulfilled.
Late on this eve, I awoke briefly on the couch back in my home surrounded by my dearly beloveds to realise it must have all been a dream. The lollies had all disappeared and Mama was feeling a little unwell. Spooky!


  1. This is the risk a rather smallish person takes with wearing silver jazzy shoes.
    They may lead one up the garden path or onto the yellow brick road.
    Yours led to a sugary feast and a well deserved gin for Mama. Just the one.

  2. I'd blame that orange orb of glassy wondrousness little one ... I fear it cast a spell on your Mama, and clearly caused you to hallucinate lollies!

  3. Funny!

    So much to like about this post! German vases, orange orb lights, new hair cuts.

    I think I need to see more of Scandy Andy's place.

  4. Hilarious Annie. You do have to wonder what the little people think of all the nonsense that happens around them. And I'm with MMMC - more scandy andy please. xx

  5. I feel like I'm the one who's been hallucinating! Love that last pic!

  6. Looks like your gang had a superb time too. Love that pink sequinned bag for lolly stashes -where on earth would she get such a fab accessory? melx

  7. DMC: Tragically I couldn't even finish the one gin and became so disoriented after lapping the block that I drove off and left the pram in my wake and realised about 3pm today it was missing!
    Annie: That orb is truly magnificent. I'm ashamed to say I may have stroked it too.
    Brismod: I left out the two nifty new parker wall units that Andy got for $80!
    The man is a mid-century magnet!
    Anna: We've been hallucinating for thirteen years. Maybe we should go to bed earlier!
    BG: Where else would such an item of fussiness come from but Ron and Brian's Boutique D'Ephemera!


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