Wednesday, October 26, 2011

On how life sometimes imitates art....

....if that art was Blue Poles. i.e. Organised chaos but not really organised. Jackson and I just say it is to save face.

I don't blame the big fella. He has worked like a navvy on the ark today and collapsed on the couch during the 7 o'clock news. Fortunately all the glass fruit was in place and his stuffed toy had not been culled. I, on the other hand, had developed a slight twitch in my left eye as I reflected at one point on the surrealism that is real life.
"I wonder what sort of deck railing would suit my own aesthetic and that of my lovely wife. zzzz.."

Meanwhile, in another room, Annie McPhee comes to an abrupt realisation.
"Good Grief, there are five of them! It's like Raising Arizona in here!!!"

5 a.m. B2 gets up for swimming training but can't find his goggles. So he doesn't go after all and I am awake AT FIVE A.M.!

6 a.m. Drive him to retrieve his shoes from school where he left them the previous night.

7 a.m. Feed, wash, check, spot sponge, feed etc. Put on laundry, empty dishwasher etc.

8 a.m. Drop them at school. Discover party invitation on the footpath for my sons that is wet with overnight dew.

9 a.m. Begin hanging washing, cleaning up brekky, blah blah, fall asleep during Playschool. Jay has five children. How is he is so perky?

10.10 a.m. Clean up toddler's room. Do puzzles to stimulate brain and rejig the dollhouse. Make cubby. Toddler goes knees up trying to sit on cubby roof which is made of a sheet.

10.40 a.m. Find oneself talking with red teletubby about elections and foreign policy.
1.00 p.m. Having failed to feed toddler anything but ice, bail and go to Ron and Brian's to drop off their new wards. 'Twas the drive of shame. Roadkill Teddy, don't gloat! (Note the yellow and turquoise Louenhide bag I got there a while ago for $4.)
1.10 p.m.Bang the toddler's finger between the car door and pole she is swinging on. Ply her with McChips to assuage the guilt.
"Look Mother. This is how you stop the tick in your left eye."
1.30 p.m. Look in op shop expectantly. Find nuttin'. Nice Lala brings flowers home again. I tweak them unnecessarily.
4.oo p.m. Attend parent teacher meeting for Fishy. Drop older sons at park for a play with mates then a quick spot of gardening . This is a purple cauli broc thing from the garden. It may have picked it too late!
5.20 p.m. Receive garbled phone call to pick up B1 who had rolled in grass at the park and received a constellation of green-ant bites all over his lower back. Send big fella to dole out the first aid. Start cooking inevitable spag bog.
6.00 p.m. Lala says she needs Pavlova for school report tomorrow. Consult the guru cook book.
6.30 p.m. She loses her homework, we find it, we make the pav. Never make pav when it's humid.
6.45 p.m. Fish jumps on the bandwagon needing help with his homework task. Does this not seem a bit wordy for year 5 ?
7.00 p.m. Find Harriet, the chicken, languishing in the corner of the coop. I google her condition. Check out the first symptom of a sick chook below. Eek!
7.30 p.m. Complete the pavlova, start on the Madrid Protocol and put the overtired Shorty to bed. Tend to the bites.

8.00 p.m. Big Fella wakes up refreshed to ask if I would like chops for dinner. Was it all a dream? Why am I cranky?

8.30 p.m. Now it's time to relax with my other hobby, the art of folding, and we're not talking origami. It was a long 18 hours.
Disclaimer: For the first time I fell asleep writing a post and had to heavily edit the gibberish on the screen this morning. I apologise for any inherent tedium and delirium that may be present.


  1. Love seeing the wallpaper all beautifully framed. That assignment is for a year 3 Uni student (have read it twice and still don't understand it) re-dik-u=lus!!! Annie I am feeling your didn't mention wine....perhaps you should get some....

  2. Whoa, Annie! How do you do this Because you love them.

  3. Holy cow, this is why I stopped at 2. Am still very afraid of moving up from prep and cannot believe that is Grade 5 homework!! Thank heavens for google to make some sense of it all. Just remember as good old Anne says, each day is fresh, with no mistakes. ( well for a least a few minutes anyway, perhaps seconds at your place)melx

  4. No. It's certainly not like that every day. It's usually pretty relaxed and rolls along nicely. It was just one of THOSE days when you need a rant. Thanks! Megan if I'd had a wine last night instead of a whine I'd have ended up face first in the flat pavlova.

  5. Love the "Cool rulz" title that really helps make that academic assignment fun!

  6. Julie: Remember how naff you always thought that try-hard 'cool' teacher stuff was as a child? The assignment wasn't that hard once I translated for the poor kid what it was actually about!

  7. Wow, a long 18 hours indeed....

    Hehe, I think 'sudden death' would be a big clue that your chicken is unwell.

  8. Not that a dead chicken is funny, of course. You know what I mean.

  9. Too. Much. To. Comprehend.
    (off to have a bex and a lie down)


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